A few things to get caught up on:
1.  USF beating UNC-Greensboro in the round of 16 of the NCAA men's soccer tournament.  For whatever reason, the national media has not locked on to this story, so it has become the responsibility of the FDP Sports Desk to discuss the ramifications of the momentous event (as usual).  

First of all, this game is meaningless.  We all know UNCG is the weak sister of the North Carolina schools, so USF takes no pride in whupping them (in PKs 3-1).  What we do know is that USF faces Wake Forest next.  STOP AND PONDER.

Wake Forest is the undisputed best program in college soccer right now.  Last years champion, one loss on the year, and they just steamrolled Dartmouth 7-0 (not UMass-Dartmouth, but it's less illustrious spin-off school, named just 'Dartmouth' for simplicity.)  Wake Forest is the Mike Tyson to USF's Buster Douglas in this matchup, except if Buster Douglas was 125 pounds lighter, with nice, straight teeth, and a penchant for drinking and kissing - which I believe is a good single-human representation of the entire USF student body.

THE POINT IS: Wake Forest wins?  No one cares.  USF wins?  The whole world should stand up and take notice.  They will have to cancel Kenny Mayne's show, and put on a program devoted solely to this game, which will run every Tuesday at 9 PM.  OR - they could create a whole channel in tribute, much like the Big 10 Network, except it will be a highly specific Big East Network, one that, in fact, does nothing but show replays, analysis, and commentary on this hypothetical game.

In other news, the FDP Social Reporter was on hand at "Thirds" in Georgetown on Friday and files this report from the FDP News Chopper:

"A common practice at bars seems to be singing along with the song currently being blasted by the half-ass DJ at these overhyped bar/clubs.  The point of this is what?  To prove that you know the words to the song that gets played about 10-12 times per day on the radio?  Awesome trick Rain Man, please show me how you pulled that mental feat."

Well, then.  

Finally, no day would be complete with learning FDP's ManU reporting team's take on the Manchester United - Manchester Reserve Team (or City) game.  This report was filed from deep within the heart of the matter:

"Manchester City - what a joke.  Get a real team, you freaks.  The score was 1-0 good guys, but it may as well have been 12-0: City has no heart (although they look like Lance Armstrong compared to Liverpool, and their legions of "I just started watching soccer last year where is that jersey I just bought 'mate'" fans.  Disaster."

So there we have it.  To summarize this week's events:
  • USF 2 - 1 UNC-Greensboro 
  • Manchester United 1 - 0 Manchester City 
  • People with common sense in bars 8 - 164 People with the same intelligence as a preschooler at bars  
Until next time, keep an eye on the skies - FPD begins 'air mailing' donkey posters soon!