Let's start off by reviewing some key facts, courtesy of The Economist's (trademark sign) "Pocket World in Figures 2009 Edition".  By the way The Economist and Entertainment Weekly are the official magazines of FDP.  The official websites you ask?  asofterworld.com and mnftiu.cc.  The official soft drinks?  Canada Dry brand Ginger Ale, and IBC Root Beer. And Dr. Pepper.

Official type of headwear? Beanie caps.
Official high school subject?  Geometry.

Let's face it - Geometry rocked.  You had to guess the length of different parts of a triangle?  WHAT COULD BE MORE USEFUL

Looking back on my alleged high school career, I remember needing English, Algebra, History, Philosophy, Law Studies, Psychology, and Homeroom (in that order) more often than I ever needed Geometry.  But that is what makes it so great!  Knowing the length of a part of a triangle isn't even something you can occasionally impress your friends with BECAUSE IT NEVER COMES UP EVER.  

So here is my quandary: Why isn't Geometry basically the coolest thing on Earth for today's kids?  Don't they love being obsessed with obscure topics (to be fair, young people have always tried to stand apart by trying to find obscure interests)?  Plus they love Randomness (see Family Guy, Tim and Eric, ATHF, ad nauseam).  Loving Geometry, in conclusion, is absolutely the coolest, most sweet thing a young person could do (at this point, young America, I am talking directly to you).

So going back to the world in figures (2009 edition), I come across some VERY interesting friends.  TRENDS - I MEANT TRENDS.  For instance, did one know that the US does not lead the world in obesity (in so far as % of population who are overweight or obese according to the body-mass index)?  That particular shame goes to Malta [more on Malta in a minute!!!!], although the US does show up a respectable second.

However, this is where the stats get interesting.  The country with the most fist-fighting (as reported as % of population reported being in a physical fight once in the past 12 months)?  Malta.  And the country with the highest percentage of wine and "spirits" drinkers?  You guessed it (possibly): Malta.

Another strange fact (and these are all 100% true, or at least as true as the book tells me they are - I haven't actually run my own surveys to corroborate, but the book looks very official.  Actually it does not, it looks like half of a kid's book - but it was made by The Economist for god's sake! - that has to count for something) is that Malta's life expectancy is a full year higher than ours.  Is it because they are out awesoming us?  I WILL DECIDE THIS AND GET BACK TO YOU.

So that's Malta.  But I know you don't come here for Malta - you come to discuss USF soccer.  Well, as we all know, USF suffered a tragic ass-beating at the hands of Wake Forest (possibly the best college soccer team ever assembled).  The FDP staff is having a hard time recapping this game, because what else can be said?  It's on to next year then, and hopefully a surprise Grothe defection to the 'other football' team to help us win State, Region, Nation, and World.

So until the next USF game, or at least this weekend, a fond FDP farewell to our loyal readers and analysts.  May god strike you down for your insolence.